Brian Fields

I’ve been feeling really weird lately. I can’t figure out what it is. Whether I’m asleep or awake I keep feeling like something is missing and I don’t know what it is. I’m constantly bored, but I don’t want to do anything. I’m constantly feeling lonely, but I keep feeling like I just want to chill out by myself. I have lots of big ideas I want to try out but I they’re gone the second I get the idea to act on them. I feel very relaxed, very spirited, like I’m ready to run a marathon… but then I just sort of feel dejected, like I’m charging into a battle that isn’t happening I want to get out of the house and do something, but I’d rather just sit here and think about it. Then I think about all of the other aforementioned things.

Call it being in a funk… in a slump… whatever.

I haven’t been sleeping well because of it. I wake up after an hour of sleep and find myself fighting to sleep until my alarm gives me the okay to stop… yet somehow I just find myself wanting to go to bed early in the night.

Whatever it is… it doesn’t feel good… or right. Like something is very, very, wrong… or about to go wrong. It’s bringing me down in a bad way. Something is missing here and I really don’t know what it is.

I keep finding little distractions here and there to sooth it a bit, but it feels like a sunburn… you know how you get burnt to hell, and you’re uncomfortable for a few days before you start feeling better. You just wish you could stay asleep for a few days while your body works things out… kinda like the emotional version of that.

The part of me that has learned from life’s little experiences will always tell me that things are gonna get worse before they start to get better, but it’s like I’m being pulled in so many directions that I don’t know where I can possibly go with this… whether it be good or bad.

So yeah. That’s what’s going on with me. Do me a favor and help distract me from it if you can. Apologies in advance if I don’t seem like the life of the party anytime soon.

I’ve done some fun things I wanted to talk about in the past couple weeks… but I’m afraid my lack of pep is going to make them sound less exciting, so maybe I’ll save talking about them for later.

See ya.

I’ve changed some things around with the site. You probably won’t notice. I’ll be adding more galleries in the next few days (yes, galleries. plural.)… (and not just Friday night galleries.) If you’re clever you can find then before they go public. Or just ask me for the links. hah. I spent this evening setting the coding of the site up so I can theme it from time to time. One such theme JUST MIGHT come about next week. Maybe a little earlier. Go me. If you notice anything weird going on let me know so I can fix it.

I’ve turned comments on, so you can tell me to shut the hell up if you want. Pretty much it’s going to be mom telling me she loves me… which is cool, but it’s also cool to know who is actually reading this stuff.

Edit: Okay, the galleries have been added and I started off the themes for the site. I’ll probably do one for every holiday… at least that I’m keeping up on the site for. Hah. Don’t miss the Panoramic Shots of Ireland that were tucked into the Ireland galleries.

Edit #2: I finished up my Ireland blog and posted it for the world to see. I replaced the “Portfolio” section with “Travels” since for over a year I just had a message saying I was too lazy to put a portfolio up. Although looking at it now, Travels should be next to Photos on the menu, but I’ll save that work for another day. Mom can’t tell me I need to update for at least another month and a half now.

It’s cold. The predicted high temperature for the past few days has been well below freezing, and doesn’t seem like it’s going to come up any time soon. There is an impending snow storm today and everyone here is worried that it’s going to be a huge pain to get home, so there have been a few people leaving early. Wussies. The only concern I have is the gigantic hill that RPI is on… and making it across town with a few hundred stupid drivers in between me and home. So I might just leave early. Who knows.

Work is going dandy. We’ve had a busy couple of weeks and just when we get caught up I get UDF AGAIN. It’s looks pretty ugly this month. We just got done with a P&G product that involved designing a bunch of mock-ups for in-store displays. I’m told they take all of the pieces and actually set them up in a mock store and invited people to come shop there and see what they think. We got it on a Wednesday and it had to be done by the following Monday, so I had to work my first Saturday at RPI, and ended up with over 15 hours of overtime, which is cool… but in some ways also very not cool. Oh well. We made the best of it. We brought in Bagels, Juice, Milk… Pizza was purchased for us… we made some good progress, too.

I’m not at my normal computer now because there was a big leaking ceiling above it earlier in the day.

I’ve been feeling highly motivated lately, but I really need to find a project to do.

That’s all. I really have nothing better to say.